The Dragon's Retort

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From: A Faire To Remember

words by Claire Stephens McMurray, music traditional, arranged by Gunn-McKee, click to read original version

Now, I am a dragon. Please listen to me.
For I'm misunderstood to a dreadful degree.
This ecology needs me and I know my place.
But I'm fighting extinction with all of my race.

Well, I came to this village to better my health
Which is ever so poor, despite all my wealth.
But I get no assistance and no sympathy,
Just impertinent questioning shouted at me.

Yes, virgins taste better than those who are not.
But my favorite snack mixed with peril is fraught.
For my teeth will decay and my trim go to pot.
Yes, virgins taste better than those who are not.

Well, I'm really quite kind almost all through the year.
Vegetarian ways are now mine out of fear.
But a birthday needs sweets as I'm sure you'll agree.
And barbecued wench tastes like candy to me

As it happens our interests are almost the same.
You see I'm really quite skillful at managing game.
If I ate just your men, would your excess decline?
Of course not, the rest would just make better time.

Now, the number of babies a woman can bear
Has limits, and that's why my prunings done there.
And an orphan's a sad sight and so when I much.
I'm careful to eat only virgins for lunch

The Dragon's Retorte (original version)

by Claire Stephens McMurray

Now, I am a dragon. Please listen to me
For I'm misunderstood to a dreadful degree.
This ecology needs me and I know my place.
But I'm fighting extinction with all of my race.

Well, I came to this village to better my health
Which is shockingly poor, despite all my wealth.
But I get no assistance and no sympathy,
Just impertinent questioning shouted at me.

Yessss, virgins taste better than those who are not.
But my favorite snack food with peril is fraught.
For my teeth will decay and my trim go to pot.
Yet virgins taste better than those who are not.

Now, we Worms are deep thinkers; at science we shine,
But our world's complicated with every new line.
We must quit all the things that we've done since the Flood
Like, lying on gold couches poisons our blood!

Well, I'm really quite good almost all through the year.
Vegetarian ways are now mine out of fear.
But a birthday needs sweets as I'm sure you'll agree.
And barbecued wench tastes like candy to me!

As it happens our interests are almost the same.
For I'm really quite skillful at managing game.
If I ate just your men, would your excess decline?
Of course not, the rest would just make better time

But the number of babies a woman can bear
Has a limit, and that's why my prunings done there.
Yet an orphan's a sad sight and so when I munch.
I'm careful to take out a virgin for lunch.

KEY C

verse/chorus:
C F C G C

Background: Fantastic parody of the Irish Washerwoman. This song was written as a direct response to Randy Farran's song Do Virgins Taste Better (Than Those Who Are Not).

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